Convo with my 5 year old self (inspired by Futernick)

• Me: You start a job on Sesame Street tomorrow.
• 5 year old me: Woah! Will Jim Henson be there?
• Me: No, I'm very sorry to say he will not.
• 5 year old me: What's your job?
• Me: Summer Production Intern.
• 5 year old me: I don't know what that is. Wait. You have to work in the summer? Ew.
• Me: It sucks, I know, but last summer you got to work on the new Batman movie!
• 5 year old me: Woah! Batman is my favorite!!! Who is the bad guy?
• Me: Bane.
• 5 year old me: What's a Bane?
• Me: Read Knightfall in a few years.
• 5 year old me: You want me to read?
• Me: You learn to love it.
• 5 year old me: So you are working, that means NO MORE SCHOOL!!!
• Me: Well, about that. After college you decide to go back to school for another couple of years to get a Masters.
• 5 year old me: I HATE SCHOOL! How could you go back to school? Why would you do this to us???
• Me: It's worth it!
• 5 year old me: How? How the fuck is it worth it?
• Me: I forgot how young we started cursing...
• 5 year old me: Are you married?
• Me: Nope, we have an awesome girlfriend named Geada!
• 5 year old me: What's a Geada?
• Me: A fly girl from New York City.
• 5 year old me: I love New York!
• Me: You live there for almost 10 years, and you're living there now. Then we go to California.
• 5 year old me: There is a Disneyland in California!
• Me: Yes there is. You'll get to go alot.
• 5 year old me: Cool!
• Me: You also get a dog!
• 5 year old me: YES! WHEN??? WHAT KIND???
• Me: A bulldog, 22 years from now.
• 5 year old me: Why did Santa wait so long to give us one?
• Me: Ha! Santa...
• 5 year old me: What?
• Me: Nothing. Your girlfriend buys you one.
• 5 year old me: Is she rich or something?
• Me: She works hard helping design brands and create websites.
• 5 year old me: Like... giant spiderwebs you climb on?
• Me: Nothing at all like that.